Time Away, Part II: The Power of Rest

In my last post, I shared that after months of pushing against the river–trying to control outcomes and clinging to the familiar–I finally hit a wall and took three weeks to completely step back. It became so much more than a pause; I recalibrated.

Finding Self-Compassion and Quiet

I first stepped away into the quiet of the mountains–away from screens, schedules, and daily demands. On a hike during those early days, I found myself climbing through small spaces between massive boulders, unsure where I’d emerge–a physical metaphor for how I’d been navigating worries and hurdles, just hoping to pop out where the sun might find me. But later on, a ferret-like bundle of adorableness put things in perspective. I watched this little thing carry a fish the size of its body across a patch of grass. It let me know- it’s possible to do big things.

The turning point came at the river. I waded in and dunked myself into the biting cold water. When I emerged, it felt as though a compassionate hand had gently wiped off the grime of my senses. The frantic internal dialogue that had been running in the background for months went quiet. A sweet sense of peace washed over me. My body and mind were being heard and respected- and because of that, they could finally rest.

Rediscovering Play

Once the white noise cleared, I sampled from the buffet of simple living. I watched hummingbirds hover in the afternoon light, worked on puzzles, practiced archery with my bow and arrows, and went on slow, agenda-free walks. There was nothing quite as sweet as paddleboarding on the glassy, quiet waters of Stanley Lake, drifting near the edges of eagle territory with mountain ranges framing the horizon.

With minimal interaction with others, I was learning to enjoy my own company and, like the trees around me, learning to simply be.

Renewed Intention

During the final days, I deliberately explored a better way to resurface. Through books, art, listening to wise voices, and my own intuition, a few important messages kept coming up:

Refuse to cooperate with worry. Fear screams. Wisdom whispers.
Be brave. Accept who you are, let go of what is not yours, and find what is possible.
The divine is a tree away.
Rethink effort– does this further my path? Does this have benefit? If not, clear it out.
Whatever you do, be kind, playful, curious, intentional, and loving.

An Invitation to Take a Breath

If you are reading this while running on absolute emotional fumes, consider this your friendly, compassionate nudge to pause. We live in a culture that treats rest like a luxury reward you only get after finishing an endless to-do list. But rest isn’t a trophy for productivity–it is the baseline requirement for staying human, creative, and connected.

What might happen if you gave yourself permission to step back–even for a single afternoon, an evening, or an unhurried walk in the woods? When you stop managing outcomes and allow yourself to simply exist, you make room to:

Hear Your Own System: Your body is constantly sending memos, emails, and sometimes full marching band performances to let you know what it needs. Stepping back allows you to listen before a burnout forces a collapse.

Come Back to Your Senses: Constant overstimulation dulls our capacity to savor life. Resting wipes the grime off the window so color, warmth, and simple pleasures can return.

Discover What’s Waiting: When you stop clinging to control, you open up space for curiosity, play, and quiet wisdom to whisper what comes next.

You don’t need to head into the wilderness or pause your whole life to begin. Start by stepping away from the screen, putting your feet on the grass, taking a slow breath, and asking yourself: What does my mind, body, and soul need right now? Sometimes the bravest, most productive thing you can do is simply stop, listen, and savor a chance to just ‘be’.

By the way, a new member has joined my team!

During an art activity, sitting on a shelf, staring right at me, was “Butters”–a soft, weighted, lavender-scented black-and-white barnyard cow. This little bundle now sits within reach in my office to offer grounding hugs during heavy sessions.

Time Away Part 1: Seeing the Signs

You know that old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink?” Well, apparently, I have been a horse for months. My mind and body had been dropping not-so-subtle hints that I needed a major break, but I was too busy being busy, with plenty of elaborate explanations, excellent justifications, and probably a few backup excuses just in case.

Personally, I am both cursed and blessed with an impressive ability to “appear normal,” which is basically compartmentalizing with a smile. This only helped me ignore the problem. I also had several forms of self-care that looked very responsible on paper. Unfortunately, self-care was just a smidge below what I needed to replenish. To absolutely no one’s surprise, all of this eventually stopped working.

I know I am not alone in this. Somewhere along the way, self-worth, security, productivity, and even freedom has become equated with worth. Doing more seems like proof of being okay. I am not saying work, goals, or accomplishment are bad things; they can be meaningful, energizing, and even joyful. However, there is also so much more. Relationships, hobbies, play, time outside, creativity, movement, learning, novelty– are all important too. Even when we love what we do, imbalance can quietly eat away at our health and sanity.

Let’s identify some of the signs that tell us when it is time to take a big pause and truly unplug:

Physical

Exhaustion/depletion– this becomes a state of being that does not politely leave after a long weekend or earlier bedtimes. Those efforts may prevent sliding further downhill, but they are a long way from restoring sparkle.
Sleep Disturbances- a full night’s sleep becomes something other people get, like tax refunds or perfectly ripe avocados. There is often inability to turn off for the day. Even if the mind is quiet, the body is revved. Routine, stretching, distraction, podcasts, and breathing, etc. help intermittently, but do not impact the overall trend.
Changes in Appetite- stress, whether chronic or acute, can do strange things to hunger cues. For some, appetite disappears; for others, there is a temptation to pull up a chair next to the pantry. Of course, there may be a blend of the two, leading to nutritional mayhem.

Emotional/Mental

Cynicism- oh, that relentless negative lens that causes attention to only land on what is wrong or disappointing. The ability to savor or see the good in things feels out of reach. When severe, positive people are deemed naïve, obnoxiously chipper, and nearly intolerable.
Detached- the brain creates mental distance to protect an already overwhelmed system. Unfortunately, it also means the positive gets dulled too. It is like watching life rather than being a participant.
Sense of failure/doubt– this one is sneaky. Depending on how long it has been going on, it can mirror low self-esteem. A clue that it is really burnout in disguise is that it eases when you get meaningful rest. Honestly, it makes sense. When effort does not change the overall experience and just getting by takes so much energy, confidence understandably wobbles.
Brain Fog- the mind is burdened with energetic white noise so executive functioning gets compromised. This means that concentration, memory, and decision making are all effected. It may impact the ability to find words or complete thoughts. Personally, I have lived with some degree of this due to long-term Covid, but this was “extra”. My poor hubby had to bring incredible patience to our conversations because I frequently forgot what I was talking about. I regularly played hide-and-seek with my stuff. Despite having apps to help, I still found a pair of shoes out in the grass and my keys in the pantry. I still have hope that I’ll find my eyeglasses.

Behavioral Signs

Procrastination: tasks that used to feel manageable now require a project manager. Starting something feels hard; finishing something feels like a small miracle.
Withdrawal: isolation becomes the most sensible option when energy is in short supply, interactions feel hollow, and the inner cynic has taken over. Staying tucked away can seem less like avoidance and more like protection for all involved.
Increased Irritability: I AM NOT IRRITABLE! HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING?!?!?
Checking out: coping mechanisms increasingly include substance use (think alcohol or chocolate), mindless distractions, or general forms of numbing. Things go by the wayside like the existence of family and pets, chores, commitments, anniversaries, the burning dinner on the stove…..

With the encouragement of my support team and proverbial hitting a wall, I did it- I took a break. At the end of July, I completely stepped back for three weeks. Profound thanks to the lovely people who picked up the slack I was inevitably leaving behind and incredibly understanding clients who waited. All were patient, a few said they were inspired by my example, and a couple people have taken steps to do the same.

Next month, I’ll share some of the things that came out of this time away for it ended up being much more than rest. Meanwhile, if your body has been sending little memos, urgent emails, or perhaps a full marching band performance trying to get your attention, consider this your friendly nudge to listen. Rest is not a reward for finally finishing everything; it is part of how we keep being able to show up for the people, work, and life we care about. Sometimes the bravest, wisest, most productive thing we can do is stop, step back, and really, seriously, fully rest.

Doomscrolling, Headline Fatigue, and Other Good News

Doomscrolling is a perfect term for a modern-day struggle. We get absorbed in the news with all the dramatic things happening on the national and global stage. It may start out small, a glance at some headlines at the grocery store, a conversation that suggested something new has happened and you don’t want to be left in the dark, or even an adorable cat video that is surrounded by click bait. Algorithms, sensationalized headlines, and upsetting images suggest that if you don’t take a moment to check out this new development, you won’t be informed or ready when the “moment” comes. Before long, we are hooked for hours on the endless stream of bad news.

Why Is This Such A Problem!?!?!?!

Some of this tendency is due to the sheer opportunity to engage. With phones full of apps and notifications, we are one touch away from a “hit” of news. Then there is the very real chemical components in our brains. Each time we see a disturbing headline, there is a small dopamine rush at seeing something novel, connecting to the reward system in our brains. It literally reinforces the behavior. Never mind that what follows is a flood of distress.

Authors are also economically motivated to keep you engaged. In an interview provided by the American Psychological Association, Dr. Grant, a researcher who has studied human behavior in the cyber world, said:

Nowadays, many of the newspapers, The New York Times, have online versions and here it’s the number of clicks, and a journalist that writes articles that generates many clicks their career will advance faster than that of a journalist whose articles have few clicks. So I think even journalists in news media are subject to the competition and the incentive structure is such to report more negative news and more sensational news.

Let’s not forget those wonderful algorithms and AI’s increasing ability to suggest tailor made content. Once we go down the rabbit hole, these programs feed us more of what seems to drive our behavior. They are designed to create this addictive habit.

It Can’t Be That Bad, Can It?

Well…. image what happens when we soak ourselves in dismal information for hours on end. How might this habit impact our nervous system, mental health, sense of community, and overall outlook on life? According to the American Psychological Association, all types of news media consumption increases emotional distress, but television and social media exposure were more strongly associated. Anxiety, depression, hopelessness and helplessness are common. One study said it that pandemic-related strain even compromised basic decision-making abilities!

I am particularly concerned with the impacts on how the brain is wired. There is a catchy phrase, “What fires together wires together.” This statement refers to the phenomenon called neuroplasticity where our brains change based on whatever we practice. Pathways that are well used get strengthened; those that do not atrophy and are pruned. If you are practicing the piano, learning meditation skills, enjoying human connection, those experiences soak in. If instead hours are spent on gloom and doom, all those feelings and reactions literally change our brains.

Next month, I will talk about some of the ways you can find a happy median between being informed and being sane.

Next month I will give some pointers on how to

What can we do?

We do not have to go off all media and become a hermit in the woods. There are strategies that can turn autopilot habits into intentional engagement:

Be a wise consumer. Find reputable sources of information who offer evidence-based reporting versus opinions. Listen for the type of expertise the person is using to fill in information. Influencers are not experts; an actor playing a doctor on t.v. does not have a license to practice medicine. Even a PhD is not a given because they can only speak to their specialty. Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a brilliant astrophysicist but that does not mean I should ask him for advice on why my cat keeps eating my plants.
Use critical thinking. Don’t forget to evaluate the logic of the arguments presented, questioning the presence of bias or manipulation in the content. I know this will slow down consumption, but that is partially the point. Not only will this allow your brain time to metabolize the information, it will also ensure quality rather than quantity information.
Create boundaries around consumption. Following Dr. Anna Lembke’s advice In “Dopamine Nation,” hurdles make it harder to engage in the compulsive behavior. Consider turning off all notifications and delete apps that only add unhelpful noise and temptation. Plug in your phone as soon as you get home, perhaps in a room that some distance away. Keep remote controls well out of easy reach- maybe not the safety deposit box at your bank, but somewhere less accessible.
Limit the amount of time spent engaging with media. Knowing that you are playing with fire, use media mindfully and with limits. Before you start, set an alarm in a place you must get up to shut it off. The American Psychological Association recommends a limit of 15 minutes. As one client noted with exasperation, “I set alarms on my phone so I stop… the only problem is when the alarm comes up, all I have to do is push the ‘snooze’ button and get back to being terrified.” Clearly, this hurdle is not challenging enough to stop the doomscrolling trance. I encourage committing to tech-free periods, especially removing phones while eating so you can savor the food, when talking to friends who will appreciate your full attention, and in the shower where you will be too busy singing. Enjoy a little peace and a chance to breathe.
Connect your anxiety to taking action. To avoid feeling hopeless and helpless, use that anxiety energy towards making a difference. Consider making a donation, joining a cause, volunteering, signing a petition, or calling your representatives.